Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Shamed for crying

@shanyphantom.tumblr.com
Since when did it become a problem to cry? Since when did it suddenly become uncomfortable to be in a room with a person expressing a perfectly normal human emotion for something they are passionate, hurt, angry or upset about?

WOW. The world evolved so fast that even crying, or a few other types of human emotions, is considered a sign of weakness, especially if you're a male.  Sure you can cry but "not too much", and you can laugh, however "not too much" and so the list continues.

It's okay for us to shy away from being social in the real world and rather finding solace in our many gadgets, but a crying human being? NO! That is just too much. Even crying when a person passes is considered a waste of one's time because it won't bring the person back. CRYING WHEN A PERSON HAS PASSED ON! Sure, I'm aware it won't bring the person back but it doesn't stop a person from being hurt by a loss, regardless of the age of the person who passed.

As a child I used to hold my shower cloth underneath the tap and be amazed about the fact that it wouldn't stop the water from running, instead the water would soak the cloth and continue to flow. I can imagine that's exactly what happens when people force themselves to supress their emotions. Sooner or later the cloth holding back all their tears is going to get completely soaked and their tears will have nowhere else to go except for through. I don't believe there's a single person out there who doesn't cry, but many choose to cry by themselves and sometimes they're the same people who will tell you that "crying is for losers".

There's a new reason for why one shouldn't cry that has been around for a while and that I keep hearing from time to time. One shouldn't cry during their engagement ceremony, or wedding for that matter. Like, what are you even crying for? REALLY??

Why on earth shouldn't a person cry during their engagement. Do we know people's internal struggles? There are a million reasons why people cry. For one, it could be that you thought your significant other would never drop the question, or that you're overwhelmed about the fact that you have been chosen by someone. Among all of the possible partners out there that they could have chosen, they chose you. I don't know about you but to me that's a very valid reason to cry.

Those who pretend that they NEVER cry, kudos to you, you're amazingly strong for not letting the waterworks spill through. But I don't believe I'm any less of a human because I cry when I'm frustrated, during a touching movie, when I'm stressed, upset, or whatever else I'd normally cry about. That may not be how you handle yours, but hey, that's how my body functions.

I'd rather a man cry in front of me than completely surprise with a fit of anger later on in the future because he chose to surpress his emotions. To me, when a person cries it let's me know their human, especially someone I don't see crying very often. It never crossed my mind that they might be weak or that they are crying for an invalid reason, whatever their reason might be.

via GIPHY



I think society likes to place almost everyone/everything into categories most of the time, and so deciding what is a good reason to cry and what is not becomes one of the things society also decides for us, just like it decides who has an acceptable body type and who does not, who's beautiful and who's not. Categories, categories, categories. I'm so sick of it! A person should cry if they feel like it, regardless. You might just have won an award, lost a game/match, been given away in marriage by your father, a family member or someone really close to you. Just Let it Rain and don't care about who sees. It's the person who forces themselves not to cry, for whatever reason, that I'm more worried about.