Friday, January 30, 2015

Good enough to marry but not to date?

If being good enough for someone only counts when they are looking to settle down, then that's the worst form of flattery there ever was. Even though not everyone's dream involves eventually settling down someday, those whose dream it is need to get their head on straight. I've listened to countless "boys" -- if it's safe to call them that -- rant about how they've been with this person and that and, yet, these are never the type of "girls" they talk about when they mention marriage and everything it entails.

The woman of their dreams is usually someone who has never been in a relationship, or been touched, if that's possible. Oh, and if you are able to add in the extra, preferably someone so innocent they might never have heard about a relationship in their life. Who are they kidding? If you're a woman and you're upset because such a man doesn't see you as fit to date, and only ever considers you in his ludicrous idea about marriage, [sings in BeyoncĂ© voice] be glad you dodged that bullet! A man like that is likely to see marriage as something close to a prison, or a retirement home if you like. 
 Sure, everyone wants someone who is good and humble, but if you can't reciprocate any of these qualities, what's the point?  It would be like being what people consider an ordinary person, with an ordinary job, wanting to hang out with the elite. That doesn't often happen (if it's happened to you, hats off to you my friend). 

Like the saying goes, 'Birds of the same feather flock together'. If a girl has been waiting around on you while you "play around", it's very unlikely she'll still be around by the time you get hit with an epiphany about a blissful future with a 'trophy wife'. That girl you rejected in the past who suddenly turned into one hot mama and now you're head over heels for her? Yeah, not gonna happen! Not unless the odds are forever in your favour. Get with the times. No one really wants anyone who wants them when they are suddenly 'good enough'.  If you weren't there through the bad, you better believe you won't be considered as a companion when things are going super well. #Truth 

The same goes for guys. If a girl wouldn't look at you twice when you were 'nothing', don't even waste your breath on her if she comes running back once you're earning a six figure income. You're worth so much more than that.  People need to start being the person they are looking for and stop building their castles with sand (i.e stop imagining that you deserve someone who is proper when you haven't put aside the player in you). Nobody wants leftover bones, they want steak. #Word