Thursday, July 11, 2013

What's foreign is more beautiful?

So far, and from experience, I've come to understand that people often have more of an appreciation for something which is foreign - or perhaps what they are more exposed to.

Like some black men tend to "worship" Europeans and their hair etc, I thought it was safe to assume that the same went for some white guys' appreciation for black women and their hair, especially after reading the following article - http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2009/08/are-white-men-more-appreciative-of-natural-hair/

When I first started growing my hair out in its natural state, most of the compliments I got came from  people outside of my own ethnicity.  Plenty of European guys would say I looked great with my natural hair; prettier, and from the other side (not to condemn), the most I would get were stares. I would go on to interpret these stares as meaning, "hmm... interesting", or, "not a good look girl".  Rather than just staring at my hair as though it were about to come alive and chop them into pieces, I would have appreciated they say something, anything at all.

My younger sister once experienced a black guy tell her flat out at a party, "I love everything about you, but not your hair. You should "fix it". I'm super glad my sister left him hanging after that comment. Why try to convince a girl to change to suit your 'taste' when there are plenty of other girls out there who already are what you may be looking for.

Only once did my younger brother run his hands through my hair when I was on my natural hair journey, and say "OMG.. it smells so good, and it's so soft. How do you get it to be so soft?"

Throughout my 'natural hair journey' I can honestly say, hands down, that I've had more compliments about my hair from men outside of my own race. Although I haven't directly experienced any black guys saying anything negative about my hair, I've still experienced their staring, as if something is completely off with my hair - or as though they can't quite figure out why I've decided to let it grow out like that, very disturbing.  I used to feel that rather than being ashamed of being seen with me, some European guys delighted in my hair as if it were the most beautiful thing in the world.

Whether I get compliments or not, I'll still keep growing my hair out because this is who I am. I will not compromise, I will not make my hair something it is not so a man can say I look pretty. I was not born to please anyone.

Truthfully, I think a lot of women hide behind extensions - not talking about the one's who have accepted their hair and are just rocking different styles - because their self-esteem is low. They may feel that nothing good will come from wearing their actual hair, because it has been tied to negative stereotypes for a long time. But sometimes these stereotypes aren't even created by other races, they come from ourselves. I could go on, but I'll just stop here.

It feels uplifting whenever men, especially if he's a man from your own race, compliment your hair every now and again, without you urging them to do so.  It boosts a woman's confidence and makes them her better about herself, like it is actually okay to be who she is.  When a man actually notices that you have changed your hairstyle, it feels as though he is paying attention, that he appreciates you and your efforts to reflect who you are in your own beautiful and unique way.


February. 2011


July 2013