Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Aspiring to become a wife???

Although marriage was quite a huge 'thing' several years ago, it seems to have become more a 'thing of the past' as society continues to develop. It does not seem to be equally as important as it used to be, and it appears less people care about it at an early stage in life. However, most guys are often fooled into thinking that women 'aspire' to become a wife. Sure once women think about settling, most of them aspire to become good wives, but not necessarily becoming wives.  People aspire to become many things (i.e an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, a journalist, psychiatrist, psychologist; you name it),  but I don't believe one of them entails becoming a wife; not in this modern day society anyway.   It's not a surprise that most men would think that, given the fact that some girls grew up with dolls and 'playing house' with their fellow guy mates (those who would bother).  At that time in life (childhood) it's almost every little girls dream to have her own blissful wedding someday, all dressed in white and marrying the 'man of her dreams'.

I think that things have changed quite a lot; in Norway society is complaining that people aren't having enough children, and that this issue is contributing to a major wave of old people (it is a bit funny and has me laughing at times).  It seems a majority of the Norwegian population have shifted their interest towards career, rather than marriage, and therefore most of them are never in a hurry to get married (and why should they be?). Today, most people just have a child or two together and do not really feel a need to get married (what's the point when society allows for 'civil union' or cohabitation?). You could only dream about that a couple of years back; there was no way in the world that living with someone outside of wedlock was viewed as a 'civil' act in society at that time, but how far back are we really thinking?

I believe marriage should take however long people need it to take. It, in my opinion, is not something a person should set as a goal in life, and I feel that due to society's pressure a lot of people enter early marriages which only end up in disaster. Some think "Gosh, I have to get married at this age," or "now that my Master's degree is coming to a close, I have got to start thinking about a suitable husband/wife" or "Oh goodness, I'm almost thirty and have no relationship to show for it!!!"  When decisions are made in a haste, they are bound to end in misery. I believe the best things happen when someone is 'ready', and not because someone has set stages in their life for particular things to happen at certain times.

Are marriages from the past lasting because people love each other, or because they're too old to find anyone else? Because divorce was a 'no-go-zone' during their time, or because they cannot see themselves with anyone else? These are questions I always ask myself, but cannot seem to find an answer to, and of course I should not be asking myself these questions.  I should be asking married couples who have managed to stay together for decades. 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years+. "What is your secret?", "Do you genuinely feel love for one another, or can you simply not stand one another, but stay together because there is no point in separating when you have come this far?"

I once read an article in a Swedish newspaper during the time of the wedding of Princess Victoria of Sweden and her husband,  whereby several couples (young and old; it was quite cute) had been interviewed about their secret to a healthy relationship/marriage. Sometimes I find myself wondering how many of those couples are together today.  It's sad when a relationship ends, but if it was unhealthy, it is better to have had it cut off. Nobody thinks weeds growing in a garden full of beautiful flowers is especially attractive. I think I'm yet to meet a person who does.

The point behind this post is that there is no harm in waiting for anything; be it thirty or fifty; when you are finally ready to settle down, or for the next stage in your life to fall naturally, it will happen.  I do not believe in the biological clock in relation to some aspects of life; I think society just created one to have some kind of order in life. However, when the time is right for certain things, they will happen naturally. There are plenty of things I aspire to be, and becoming a wife is not one of them.