Saturday, January 5, 2013

In a relationship, but ....still single....

The title speaks for itself, and most people still find themselves in this type of mode - where they want all the things which come with a relationship, except for commitment.  A relationship is commitment, and if one isn't ready to do that, they should not be in one. 

Let's look at the word relation for one second..

The first definition I found, and was looking for, stated that the meaning behind the word relation is the way in which two or more objects are connected,

When someone is in a relationship with One person, they shouldn't expect that to mean that others are also included, if preferred . There is a reason why a relationship is normally between two people, why marriages are normally between two people etc (Adam & Eve - for those who believe they existed -  were two people only). One really can't have everything, sometimes it really is down to either or neither,

I've learned, from experience (yes, people do make mistakes), that it is selfish to have one thing and still want something else. It is better to be appreciative of what you have, because a foolish mistake may remind you of just how precious what you had was, when it's actually gone. Some are given a second chance, and some, however, are not as fortunate.

When you decide to be in a relationship, it's one step to testing your ability to be devoted to something, to care for and value something. Know what pleases your partner and stick to it. By this I mean, don't go around flirting with other people when you know that you're commited to someone. This type of behaviour is what I like to refer to as the 'In a relationship, but still single' - syndrome.  What's the point in being with someone if you still desire to flirt with other people?  What's the point in being with someone if you desire to physically be with someone else? If you're not ready for One person, don't commit to them (whether through marriage or a relationship). There's honestly nothing wrong with being single. Trust me!

If you're a female used to hanging out with your girls, and you all of a sudden forget what the name of your boyfriend is when another guy approaches you, you need to step back and assess yourself.  If you're a guy and you're with a girl, her joy (if it were me, at least) would be that even though other girls smile at you and give you 'the eye', you won't even glance at them because you're sure of what you've got. It's easier to feel lucky if the one you're with doesn't make others feel special by paying them special attention as well. In that way you can safely think 'Ha... he's mine...' or 'Ha, she's mine.' Where's the feeling of content in having something if you're not the only person to have it, or if you're sharing it with other people?   

If you're already in a relationship and you desire to 'test the waters', as some refer to it, then you would be better off single!  Don't commit to anyone unless you're serious, and you are sure that it's just you and that One person, and not you, the person and 40 other people (exaggerated, but could be true!!!). The BS about wanting stability and love, when you obviously can't keep to one person and play about with other people, can be saved for the birds.  Someone who is loyal and loving towards you, I believe, deserves the same type of loyalty and love back - if not, you're wasting their time and yours.