Friday, August 24, 2012

Love and what it really is....

Shhhhhhh....Class is in session

Up until recently I found myself being absolutely sure of that I quite know what love is, yet there are more than a million thoughts, definitions and views on and about what love is, and how it should be defined. Not one person views love the same as the next, and therefore it becomes to most complex subject, which is sometimes avoided, because people don't wish to  associate it with the wrong meaning.

Love, to me, was not a 'feeling' which one was able to comprehend. At times I even viewed it as an obligation, something we were born with, a feeling of gravitation towards other human beings - but if it were so, wouldn't we love everyone we felt we gravitated towards? 

To some there are three types of loves - Eros, Philos and Agape (all of which names' have their origin from the Greek language). 

Agape - is known to be the perfect love that originates from God, and is the very characteristic of God. This type of love is known to be unconditional. It endures, forgives and is patient through any hardships or attacks from outside influences. 

Philos -  An earthly love which grows through ties/bonding, whether it be family ties, marriage or friendships. It is limited because of the fact that it can easily be broken through hurt and unwillingness to forgive; and viewed as imperfect when placed next to Agape love.

Eros -  Is the romantic type of love (the feelings, that passion which engulf your body at a certain point in time, and which people say is unlikely to last), sometimes also known as a sexual type of love, where you find yourself attracted to another part on a physical, and sometimes also emotional, level.
Love endures all things, hopes all things and tolerates all things
1. Cor

My friend once asked me a pretty good question. She asked 'are women the only ones who love? It seems guys have quite a different way of viewing love', to which I answered, 'Not one human being views love the same way. One guy is different from the next, and so is one girl'.

Love will never have just one definition when it comes to human beings. As we are different, so are our ways of viewing love.

Nobody is perfect in their showcasing of love. We err, are imperfect and always get ready to burn up into ashes as soon as someone offends us or hurts us very deeply. It takes years of experience, trying and failing, to even reach some form of being able to love unconditionally, to get to the point where loving someone is as natural as the air we breathe.

Now when I hear the word love, I see that there is more fullness in it through someone's actions, than through someone's words. Love to me is not a feeling, it is not the butterflies that we feel so strongly whenever we see that significant other, something a lot of people also refer to as 'the honeymoon period'. To me, love is gravitational, that which makes it impossible for you to hate a person or leave them no matter what they do to you (in some ways that could of course be viewed as complete stupidity).

I'd take my hat off to anyone who still stayed even when a person was treating you like shit. Loving unconditionally may mean there's a better chance of relationships surviving (the person treating you wrongly finally realising their mistake, even when it's too late), friendships growing and  greed and selfishness receding.  If all could love unconditionally, I guess there'd be no arguments, no divorces, no wars, no malice and hatred, no children abandoned by their parents, no abortions.  I believe in Love based on the heart, which sees no colour and looks past wrongs, rather than loving based on 'feelings' which cannot be trusted - even though it's hard to achieve, I believe it's out there.