Monday, July 30, 2012

1 time horrible event = 1 horrible person?

I recently read a blog post by a blogger who after being a loyal employee, always being at work, never calling in sick, never using even one of her entitled days off work (holidays), had automatically been given a lecture on how her job was the only one she had etc. when she finally decided to ask for one day off work.

Judging from this experience and a lot of similar experiences, I think it's a typical thing in society that people hardly see all the nice things you've done for them, once you perhaps can't do one thing they ask you for afterwards. You might have perhaps always been available to them, even when you were not obligated to, and as soon as you turn down just one request, you may be looked at as all sorts of things (selfish, self centred, mean etc).

I believe in stating your mind, and by that I mean, if you're not up for something, you shouldn't lie and say that you are. Therefore if a person asks you for something and you either a) don't have the particular thing they are requesting, or  b) have the particular thing they are requesting, but don't have time to service them, then there is nothing wrong with saying NO.

I feel that good things need to be constant for them to be remembered, as it may be easier for people to remember one bad thing, or one slip-up/mistake, rather than a million good things you have done. Humans are imperfect beings, and everyone ends up making mistakes, or ends up being unable to always service people, even though they really wish they could all the time, but that doesn't make them any less selfless. (however big or small they may be viewed).

Sometimes people go completely out of their way to do something for others, and just as soon as they slip up, all the good stuff has been forgotten, like it never took place. I find that so unbelievably sad, and the reason I find that sad is because society has started shifting towards the negative, rather than when a person slips up, focusing on the positive and trying to understand where the person is coming from.

A person who has serviced other people for several years, and suddenly decides to focus on themselves for a little, is, in my opinion, not a selfish person.  There is time for everything, and sometimes spending just a little time out on oneself shouldn't be looked upon as selfish.  Just because a person thinks in a different way than you, doesn't give you the right to call them selfish, vice versa. In the end, we all have different opinions on what everything is, and I do believe that the word selfish is often used in the wrong contexts, because of its popular use.

 As a pointer for peace, each day something negative happens, it's most important to focus on all the times something good happened, because at the end of the day, no condition is permanent. There are good days, and there are bad days, there are days you can be there for someone, and there are days when you are not able to.  We're human, and if selfishness was constant with a person, I'd be worried, but not if it's a one time thing out of a million selfless acts.

Give the positives in life a chance to outshine the negatives.