Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The beauty of a 'Black' man

There are some people who are capable of making you realise that you just weren't looking close enough before you decided to 'dislike' or avoid something. Before you meet them, you'll walk around convincing yourself of your absolute distaste for a particular thing, when in reality your distaste for that certain something could just be as a result of being afraid of receiving a bad outcome, or past experience.

I can admit to being guilty of pre-judging black guys, and not giving them a chance to prove themselves (to me) - not that anyone really has to prove themselves to anyone. I would walk around constantly telling myself that I'd never date a black guy - almost to the point where I'd swear on it. I'd see people looking at black guys and talking about how good looking they thought they were, and I just couldn't bring myself to see it.

My past experiences with black guys had triggered my aversion for them, but that was honestly no reason for me to think for a second that all black guys were the same. If anything, like I always put it, being a man or a woman for that matter - is universal. Bad or good, you're going to find similar traits in other people as well.  However, I thought all black guys were the same, and they'd somehow just become the type of people I never bothered to look at twice. This view was just so unfair to all the black guys out there who were actually making an effort, who treated women the way they would like their mother to be treated, who would do almost anything to avoid hurting a female, and who would have respect for themselves as well as other individuals.

I was so busy being angry at males who just didn't acknowledge black women, to actually see that I was no different.  I judged, I dated other races and avoided so much as the subject of black men.  But why then did it bother me so much when I saw a black guy with any other race, if I wanted nothing to do with them?

Years later, I realised that I'd been wrong in my misconception, and mostly wrong for allowing the media to mould my perception of a 'Black man'. Now when I look again, all I can see is ultimate perfection. I'm no longer looking at the 'ideal black' man through a clouded vision, but I see clearly now what I always used to ignore. Of course they have flaws, we all do - but our imperfections become our perfections, the sole reasons for each person being an individual and different from the next.

You can't judge all black men and say that they are completely the same (in fact, you shouldn't do that to anyone), because, quite frankly, the only thing most of them do have in common is their skin colour - nothing else.  Being black is not a lifestyle, it's not a culture. In fact being black is nothing. What defines a person is their inside - and so good luck to those who look only at the surface, never bothering to read between the lines of a book or explore the deep end of an ocean. When the time is right you'll be very disappointed.  Looks aren't everything, although it seems to play a major role in the 'rule of attraction'. I say, learn to see with your heart instead of with your eyes - only then will you TRULY see.