Friday, February 3, 2012

Why aren't they hurting yet?

Sometimes when people have hurt us really badly and they fail to realise they have done so, or it simply doesn't occur to them how badly they've hurt us, we often wish that the same amount of pain will come back to them, if not more. However, what happens if pain does come back to them? Does that or will that make us feel better? Will we feel a lot better or sleep a lot better knowing that the other is wallowing around in sorrow or pain? Years ago the answer to that would probably have been 'yes' from me, but I realise now that pain for another person does nothing for my happiness.

At some point when the ex says he/she is doing fine and everything is going well for them (including their love life), you do feel like punching their lights out, perhaps because you thought they'd be in pain by now. You probably thought they'd regret ever leaving you, or ever letting go of you. The truth is harder to swallow than a dry pill, and at times they might never regret it. However, I do like the way Robyn puts it in her song 'The only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again.'

The best way to heal is simply to heal; to move on and forget about the hurt, to smile and be happy. Perhaps Karma never comes back and bites the other person in the butt, but at least you'll be feeling a lot better once you get on with your life. You'll hardly remember what it was that caused you so much pain in the first place, if you just move on and smile and find something which will make you so happy it will have you forgetting the 'painful instance'.

You'll never be truly happy unless you've taught yourself to let go of the things which were beyond your control. If you couldn't change something it's because it wasn't meant to be changed; if you couldn't convince someone to stay, it is because they weren't meant to.

Even though it might hurt for a long time, someday the hurt will seize and someone else will learn to appreciate what another could not.  It's not at all easy letting go of something which you've held unto for so long, but it's worth a try. Just realise that what matters in the end is your happiness.