Saturday, January 21, 2012

Love

Believe it or not, but most drama series are quite educative in the fact that they teach you some valuable life lessons, even those regarding love. I never thought I would look at love so differently, but I finally get it. After years of arguing with people on the subject, after years of feeling disgust for couples who treated each other like 'brother and sister' or really close friends, I finally get it.

Feelings (butterflies, sweaty palms, 'piles of heavy stones' feeling in one's stomach) of whenever that significant other is around, will all eventually pass. What you are left with is the feeling of compassion, agape love, endless love, unconditional love. I honestly used to puke at couples who showed no affection whatsoever (saying 'I love you' or perhaps kissing), but after some time I've come to realise that  it really doesn't matter who says 'I love you' and who kisses you, but their honest and sincere heart towards you. Is that person there when you are happy as well as sad? Is that person a shoulder to cry on? Can you talk about anything and the significant other just has a way of understanding you? Are you close in terms of not being embarrassed around each other regarding certain matters?

I realised that the type of love that holds friendship is more powerful than the type which holds only passion and endless kisses. This is the way the world has been taught to view love, but not what it is - which is why so many face disappointment after tying the knot and realising that after a couple of years their 'feelings' just aren't there anymore. I guess I was too afraid to admit that those feelings may eventually die and wither. Appearances, figures, feelings may all crumble and dry out slowly, but true friendship and love never will.

The love I'm seeking is the one my grandparents had, the one where my grandfather passed away purely because he could not function without his other half. When my grandmother died  he was heartbroken, and eventually died from it. Each time I think about this I cry, because what's more beautiful than realising you simply don't know how to function without the other person?

I know now that the love I'm searching for doesn't hold endless kisses, holding hands and walking in the moonlight, but rather that of trust, friendship and compassion. It entails the other half understanding me better than most people, knowing me inside out and accepting me for who I am, weird or not. A person who understands when I just want to be alone, and leaves me alone, a person who hates seeing me sad and would do anything to make me smile; a person who when I'm having my weird 'social awkwardness' moments, will be weird with me - and a person who when all others run away, still stays.

I want the foundation of love, not the love the world describes, a term used rather loosely and tossed from side to side. I want the love which will carry people through time and bounds because of the friendship that was built on it. Only then can one grow old with the other without any problems, without looking elsewhere. You'd rather keep your best friend than lose them.

Love is everything, and in the end there exists only one (John 3:16), most humans just don't understand it.