Sunday, October 16, 2011

Future scare!!!...

I know I'm 'only' 21 going on 22. But somehow the thought of turning 40 is always near. Cold sweats, menopause (although I have no idea what that is, or feels like at the moment) are haunting feelings. I mean, I'd love to be 40 and still feel young and 'in love' (if that's in any way possible). I've just always been a dreamer, and sometimes people mistake that for immaturity. (Clueless people ^^)

It's funny because if your name was Madonna and you were in the show business (even though, according to a few people, your career should have ended a long time ago) no one would really say much, because you would still look good and young, and be very flexible.

God forbid I should be sixty and look like the duchess of Spain!!! (Although she's around 80+). Something tells me she's had too many plastic surgeries performed on herself during her earlier days, and that they didn't really turn out that well. Someone once commented on a photo of her saying "She looks like Lord Voldemort, only with a wig." Now, that was pretty harsh though. It's just, I wouldn't want my eyelids to be drooping at that age, or get involved with men who are twenty years younger than myself. If it were earlier in life I'd say that love really doesn't have an age limit, but I guess it does when one is about an inch away from their grave, year wise.

At forty I just hope my 'love life' won't have already turned into a dry well where there's absolutely no hope for romance, if even that would be a possibility at that age. I wouldn't want to become one of those cougar women having affairs with younger men; let alone having any affairs.

How can I assure myself that my marriage, if I'll ever be in one, won't turn into a dry desert after a couple of years?  If the world didn't put such a strong emphasis on getting married, I might be one of those women who would just stay single for the rest of my life. Well, minus dating men or living in a convent that is.

Thinking that far ahead really is scary, but I can't really help it when these thoughts are triggered by books such as 'Lipstick Jungle' by Candace Bushnell, which I was reading this morning - and one of the main characters is describing her husband's kisses as dry. Oh gosh! That's terrible. I certainly wouldn't want to end up describing my husband's kisses as dry!!!!!

My goodness, time really does fly though. Will I be 23 or 30 when I get married? That is the question...Besides, marriage shouldn't be considered work, but daily life. The three Ls: Live, Love, Laugh.