Thursday, March 3, 2011

When writing becomes an obligation

I know I have been lazy enough, lying around enough and probably even out of this world too much. I do enjoy doing work, and it's funny how I long for something to do and when it's there I just don't want to do it anymore. I had been looking forward to working so much, but right now it just seems like things have died down a bit at University. It just seems there is not enough happening at the moment, and I am talking in terms of the course I study and not life at University in general.

I feel like writing has become an obligation rather than something I do because I enjoy it. I remember when I had such a passion for writing that it almost brought tears to my eyes, but now I am just not feeling it enough, and maybe that is because I am so focused on other things around me; bothered by them.

These days I just feel too relaxed and I don't like it one bit. It's like I don't have a care in the world, and not having a care in the world could seem like a good thing, but it's not, because having no cares in the world make a person go through everyday life passively and that way they just accept things the way they are, like a mediocre grade at school, deciding not to do much about it.

I want to live life without burdens of course, but I do want to care about things which call for my attention. I don't want to see writing as an obligation, but something I love and something which draws out a true passion within me.

I can still remember the first story I ever wrote; being so fascinated with a typewriter that I would spend hours in front of it just typing away. Some sayings go "He/she was born with a silver spoon.." or "He/she was born with a football attached to his/her foot"... I choose to say that I was born with a pen in my hand, because ever since I was young, I had loved nothing more but writing almost day and night.

As a young person, my mother investing in sending me to England every year since I was six made my English advance by a thousand times, but writing and writing and receiving criticism and correction, and also reading a lot of English books helped better my English by a million times.

It's funny, because I can also still remember when I used to write freind instead of friend, doughter instead of daughter, tuff instead of tough etc.

Today I am very thankful to my mother for sending me abroad every chance she got, in order for me to learn English. I developed such a passion for English during my years in primary (elementary) school that it became my favourite subject and the only subject in which I put all my effort into and in which I did excellent. There was a time where people almost believed that English was the only subject I had at school since it was the only subject I ever really cared about. Everything about it drew me in.

I wish to go back to that stage where writing is all I know; a great passion within me.