Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Marriage: a dying institution?

I remember how "into" marriage I was as a young child. I would daydream about the perfect wedding, the perfect husband, the perfect ending. I guess as long as one is alive there is no ending. Life has its ups and downs and it never really stops until the last breath is pulled.

I hated people telling me about "reality" and how I needed to wake up from my daydreaming. They liked to burst the little hope I had, or so I felt. When I got older and got to know my first "real" boyfriend, the daydreaming, the hope and the believing started over again. There was a slight thought about whether or not he might just be THE ONE, whatever that was at the time.

Whenever people tried telling me that I would understand once I got older, that I was basing my hope on false reality, I would get angry. To the people who used to "offer wise words" I was young and naive. Perhaps I was at the time, I know that thanks to them and a bit of the things I was soon to witness, my view on marriage and love has changed. Marriage is no longer the key to happiness for me and perhaps it has never been.

In life all one really ever wishes for, I guess I cannot speak for a whole nation, is happiness. I never wished to stand in anyone's way and I desired the same (that no one stand in my way). If marriage requires someone standing in my way all the time then that's not what I wish for. I want a life where someone can give me as much "alone time" as possible to dwell in a place where I can laugh, cry, be happy and feel safe as much as I like.

Marriage seems to have lost its meaning in a society where right is now wrong and wrong is right and if I am ever to get married I don't want it to be because I am afraid of dying alone (one dies alone either way),  because I am "in love" or because I want to have children straight away. Right now marriage is not the first thing on my mind, and I don't exactly have "my dream wedding" planned out. One never knows about the future, and the advantages with not getting married are many.

I'm no longer thrilled when thinking about getting married, instead the thought makes me a little bit queasy. Commitment, children, a husband and a family altogether are making me second-think everything in life. Do I want all of those things? Will I be able to experience all of them? Are they that important to me?

I found that the trend of having babies before instead of marriage has become more popular and that people my age don't really care much about the institution of marriage. To some it is much better just keeping together without any huge commitment, and many even go as far as stating that a baby is commitment enough between two people.

Will marriage be around in the next 5-10 years or will it perhaps be a closed case?

Chika x x x