Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Today I cried...

The tears were uncontrollable. I guess I'd felt like crying for such a long time that I just didn't know how to stop once I'd started. I'd perhaps held things bottled up inside for too long. The whole week had been going okay, I pretended.

There are just those days when you don't even know what you're crying for, but it just feels so good to cry that you don't bother stopping yourself. You just cry and cry until you have nothing left. Like a balloon being emptied of all its air.

I felt like that today. I might have thought I had no reason to cry in the beginning, but then there were just all these things I started thinking about which made me cry even more. I cried for the fact that we live in such a screwed world where we really think that the things which we refer to as "enjoyment" really is living the life. I cried for all the little children who have to suffer at the hands of careless parents, the fact that time is flying by so fast and that 2018 is already being spoken of. 

OMG.. I'll be 29 by then. I don't like thinking about the future, although it's comforting at times. I don't even know if I'll be here in the future and that angers me at times. But altogether I was just crying today, and somewhere really deep down it helped. 

 Chika x x x x