Friday, November 19, 2010

Diary of a constant Daydreamer

When I was younger my parents would often get phone calls from school from teachers complaining that I wasn't being active enough in class and that I was absent minded most of the time. Instead of paying attention to what the teachers were saying I would often be whisked into a world of my own (which, trust me, was a lot better than the normal world at the time). 

I would make things happen in my head that I could never dream of would happen in reality. It was just a lot easier for me to sway between real and unreal from time to time. But of course this became a problem after a while, as I would often seem passive to other people. Instead of hanging around with my peers (which was pretty much uncomfortable anyway), I would spend time telling youngsters stories during recess(break time). 

A world of my own made it easier to escape my own problems, introduced me to the thrill of writing and the imaginary side of things. Of course this would make me unable to differentiate at times, because I'd be so caught up in my imagination that I forgot to realize it was only imaginary. 

Eventually one of my teachers decided to recommend to my parents that I see a shrink every now and again, because I did things differently than the rest, like addition in maths. There was a system they had taught us but I would do it the other way around.  Come on now!!! How can you be sent to a shrink for getting the wrong answers on maths tests? That's ridiculous.. 

There was this rumour going around in the 5th grade about me. How I hadn't done homework in 3 years and that a teacher had spread such information. (Honestly I think anyone who believed that BULL must have been really STUPID!)

In my seventh year of primary school (the system is different in Norway), I remember they had merged two classes together, B and C, and we were doing a maths quiz and I got a maths question thrown at me (I Freakking hate maths...) and I got it wrong. I can still remember the disappointed expression on my teacher's face up until now. I can't believe they would do that to me. It's like she already knew I would get the answer wrong, so why even bother to ask me?!?!?!?!?! 

When I grew older I always used to ask myself why my parents had agreed to send me to a shrink, why they had felt I needed therapy sessions, why I was so different from the rest. One can't call a person weird for being disinterested in school, or perhaps school work? Everyone is different, that certainly doesn't make you weird. I mean would you send this girl to a shrink???

I WOuldn't 

I carried on dreaming about how I wanted things to be, creating my own little, perfect world. My real life was never anything to brag about and I walked around getting myself into embarrassing situations most of the time ^O.o^, which in the end caused my friends to christen me "The black Bridget Jones". My life was hilarious to them and often to me, but inside it was a call for help, because I knew my life was far from perfect and that although I laughed at most things which would happen to me and brushed it off, I still dealt with pain inside.

From too many Disney movies about "Happy endings" people are often mistaken. They want that Prince Charming, they want to live "Happily ever after", they want to be the centre of everyone's attention and forget that it's never like that for anyone. No matter how much people pretend that they are happy 24/7, giving the impression that money can buy anything in the world and living the high-society life, it's not like that.

Celebrities cry, that "popular" girl at school might be a bitch, but she has feelings too. No one's life is perfect, no matter how many jokes they make to cover it up. But at least I was able to comfort myself with all the characters I favoured, such as Mia Thermopolis from "Princess Diaries", she reminded me of myself and I could absolutely relate to her character. 

Books were my escape place, and instead of hanging around with my peers during recess I'd just sit in a corner reading books. Haha. I remember being more excited about a book I had borrowed the first time I got a library card than going to a birthday party I had been invited to. (What a geek, right? :P)

I love daydreaming, it's therapy to me. 

Chika  x x