Saturday, January 14, 2017

Driving in Malta: Why I won't be trying it ...


Don't get me wrong, while I do like a lot of things about Malta, the way some people (notice how I wrote 'some') drive over here has had my spirit jump out of my body several times.

If you're not a person who normally looks left and right before crossing the street, you will certainly be faced with having to do so over here, or risk getting run over by a car appearing out of thin air. Your pick.

I wish I was exaggerating, but terrible driving is so common over here that the sound of screeching tires on the road doesn't cause event the faintest of eyelids to flinch, except for perhaps tourists who aren't used to it.

When I first got here, I thought there were car accidents happening every fith minute when, in fact, the sounds I was hearing and reacting to were just cars skidding on the pavement. I would often find myself asking, "Are the cars just that old, the roads terribly slippery, or are the drivers just super terrible at manoeuvering their vechicles?"  Which is it??

When my parents flew over to visit me, the taxi driver was speeding so fast on the road from the airport to my place, I thought she was going to ram the taxi right into a curb and have us all killed. She seemed annoyed about something, and I was not going to ask what had brought about her annoyance, for fear of causing her to further increase the speed we were "cruising" at.

Having been involved in a car accidenr in the past, I had slowly started getting over my fear again and started re-considering my thought about never learning how to drive. That was, of course, until I moved here.

As I do not have a dying wish, after living here for almost four months and witnessing how the locals drive, I can safely say that out of all the places where I would consider learning how to drive, Malta is not one of them.




Saturday, November 26, 2016

Living in Malta: What I've learned!

This year, three life-changing things happened to me. My boyfriend of almost 5 years proposed to me earlier during the year, and, guess what, I said yes! I finally travelled to South Korea (a long-time dream of mine), and I was offered a job in Malta.

I never thought I'd move to Malta, ever! I used to get called up by recruiters with interesting job offers, but the major problem was that I didn't have enough of an idea about Malta to actually be willing to move here.

This year, however, was completely different! Something about the job being offered just said click -- regardless of the fact that there was another company competing for my interest. It had all the right specifications and fit my degree perfectly well.

I'm not going to ramble on for much longer. But I'm glad I picked the correct company, and that they decided to pick me too. Now I work with some of the most amazing people you'll ever meet (seriously, mostly fun and jokes at the office every single day), my boss is a pretty sound guy and I've compiled a list of things I love and things I will need time to get used to.

1. The mosquitos here are on another level; have to use repellent at all times.  


2. It tends to get extremely hot here during summer, and I had to learn the hard way! 




3. Drinks are super cheap!! 






















4. The food at most restaurants is extremely cheap!!














5. The shop-workers in some stores tend to want to finish whatever conversation they're having before serving you. 

6. Some people walk like they have all the time in the world (in some cases they actually do, as many Maltese people are really laid back)

7. You usually get a lot for your money when it comes to renting an apartment

8. People rarely ask to get past you, they'll just side-step you if they have to. 

I'm still learning, and new things pop up each day! Regardless of the cons, there are just soooo many pros that it's crazy! I love it here, and definitely see myself staying here for a long time. Watch out for more posts on my adventures in Malta! 


Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Shamed for crying

@shanyphantom.tumblr.com
Since when did it become a problem to cry? Since when did it suddenly become uncomfortable to be in a room with a person expressing a perfectly normal human emotion for something they are passionate, hurt, angry or upset about?

WOW. The world evolved so fast that even crying, or a few other types of human emotions, is considered a sign of weakness, especially if you're a male.  Sure you can cry but "not too much", and you can laugh, however "not too much" and so the list continues.

It's okay for us to shy away from being social in the real world and rather finding solace in our many gadgets, but a crying human being? NO! That is just too much. Even crying when a person passes is considered a waste of one's time because it won't bring the person back. CRYING WHEN A PERSON HAS PASSED ON! Sure, I'm aware it won't bring the person back but it doesn't stop a person from being hurt by a loss, regardless of the age of the person who passed.

As a child I used to hold my shower cloth underneath the tap and be amazed about the fact that it wouldn't stop the water from running, instead the water would soak the cloth and continue to flow. I can imagine that's exactly what happens when people force themselves to supress their emotions. Sooner or later the cloth holding back all their tears is going to get completely soaked and their tears will have nowhere else to go except for through. I don't believe there's a single person out there who doesn't cry, but many choose to cry by themselves and sometimes they're the same people who will tell you that "crying is for losers".

There's a new reason for why one shouldn't cry that has been around for a while and that I keep hearing from time to time. One shouldn't cry during their engagement ceremony, or wedding for that matter. Like, what are you even crying for? REALLY??

Why on earth shouldn't a person cry during their engagement. Do we know people's internal struggles? There are a million reasons why people cry. For one, it could be that you thought your significant other would never drop the question, or that you're overwhelmed about the fact that you have been chosen by someone. Among all of the possible partners out there that they could have chosen, they chose you. I don't know about you but to me that's a very valid reason to cry.

Those who pretend that they NEVER cry, kudos to you, you're amazingly strong for not letting the waterworks spill through. But I don't believe I'm any less of a human because I cry when I'm frustrated, during a touching movie, when I'm stressed, upset, or whatever else I'd normally cry about. That may not be how you handle yours, but hey, that's how my body functions.

I'd rather a man cry in front of me than completely surprise with a fit of anger later on in the future because he chose to surpress his emotions. To me, when a person cries it let's me know their human, especially someone I don't see crying very often. It never crossed my mind that they might be weak or that they are crying for an invalid reason, whatever their reason might be.

via GIPHY



I think society likes to place almost everyone/everything into categories most of the time, and so deciding what is a good reason to cry and what is not becomes one of the things society also decides for us, just like it decides who has an acceptable body type and who does not, who's beautiful and who's not. Categories, categories, categories. I'm so sick of it! A person should cry if they feel like it, regardless. You might just have won an award, lost a game/match, been given away in marriage by your father, a family member or someone really close to you. Just Let it Rain and don't care about who sees. It's the person who forces themselves not to cry, for whatever reason, that I'm more worried about.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Who cares about "imperfections" -- they're IN


As I sat at my desk at work this afternoon -- tucking in my belly in order to avoid the bulge that I'd obtained after a heavy lunch -- I thought how it's strange that a group of people, who don't even pay our bills, sit every year (probably around a shiny round-table) deciding what the rest of us should wear and think of ourselves.  What's more baffling than that? We let them!! 


Thigh-gaps are in  -- let's rejoice

You can't even begin to imagine how many articles I've read about the highly sought after "thigh-gap" or how a big bum and curves are now "in", or how this body and that are "unacceptable". As much as I'm against fat-shaming, I'm also against "skinny-shaming" if there's such a word. I detest people "belonging" in either category shaming the other.  If you're alive and healthy, be proud. What's not to like about a healthy and alive body? Why should we care so much if we've got a few rolls here and there, or a few stretchmarks or imperfections? It was then that I thought how ridiculous it was of me to sit there and tuck in my belly in the first place, hardly breathing. Yes, I've accumulated some extra rolls on my tummy over the years, but that's nothing to hide.

I think it's ridiculous for someone who hasn't contributed to my life being any better to suddenly have any control over what I think about myself, or others for that matter, what I should buy or what I should wear.
"Why, after so many years, should I finally come to accept my plump lips because some magazine told me to do so? And if I do embrace my lips because you said so, will that win me a new home, a new car, a trip to a desired holiday spot perhaps? No? Well, I didn't think so either. "
Letting ourselves be controlled by a set of individuals, who otherwise have no say in how we run our homes, has destroyed so many people's self esteem. Instead of cheerfully eating what they like at a dinner party, they are careful to add just a few tiny portions to their plates, afraid of what the hawk-like eyes watching them will think of them for "eating a little too much" or "too much for their own good."  I'm sorry (not really), but at work I pile up my plate because, at the end of the day, I'm paying for MY lunch -- and if I'm paying for lunch, you can bet every penny that I'll put a mountain on my plate if I so please, and I won't care who sees either.

Not giving a damn is the way forward

It's quite freeing not to care what others think. If you haven't already, you should try it. It feels absolutely amazing not giving a damn. Let the hawk-like eyes continue to stare, let the murmurers continue to murmur, and let those who applaud you continue to admire you because you're bold and don't care -- simply not giving a damn.

Image: @iamnecole.com
Should I love myself? Should I not? 

We come in so many different shapes and sizes, and I'm tired of people waiting for the green light for when they can accept themselves, and when they can't. I'm tired of hearing stories about people bent over toilets pouring their insides out because they want to look like the photo-shopped model in a magazine they read, or because someone at school called them "fat". Tired of men who actually think thick women are gorgeous hiding it because everyone else is ogling slim girls. I'm just tired!

You shouldn't ask whether it's okay to love yourself, you should love yourself because, if you don't, no one else will.


Who cares about your imperfections? I say they are what make you perfect. Most importantly, they make you YOU.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Sensitive to Bullsh*t stories...

I was having a conversation with my darling sis and came to think about the amount of times most people settle for Bullsh*t stories like the one I'm about to tell. I guess sometimes it's just easier to believe a lie because it might be more reassuring than the truth; probably even make you feel good about yourself in a sick and twisted kind of way. Some people just enjoy being fed lies because they're just that much easier to swallow than the truth. I mean, what would you rather eat? A rock or a sweet?  A sweet, right? Yep. That's what I thought.But, if you're anything like me and you've heard your fair share of Bulls*it stories, you start developing a sensitivity towards them. Do you mind explaining, you say? Sure thing. What I mean is, you start being able to call someone out on their bullshit when they're right in the middle of it. In which case you can a) continue to be naive and nod in agreement or b) put them in check. 
The Classic ..It's not you- it's me statement

As a University student who didn't know any better about relationships or reciprocal feelings, I made the mistake of believing a guy I'd just told I liked when he told me, "I'm kind of just trying to focus on Uni right now. But I think you're great, honestly", or something along those lines at least. 

Why wouldn't I have believed him? He had said he thought I was great, hadn''t he? Along with too many other things which served as an excuse for why he couldn't date me. To top it all off, he actually said....wait for it.... Oh gee, here it comes.... "It's not you, it's me." #Bruh And to think that all I did was stand there as he served me lie after lie and think, Yeah, that must really be it. There's nothing wrong with me, he just needs time to focus on important stuff. Gosh, he's so hot for finding Uni important. 

How did I find out he had been bullshitting me? Well, about a month later, his relationship status on Facebook changed, and guess what it said.. In a relationship with..[ name missing]  Yes, I was furious. How could he possibly have lied to me etc? But I was unfamiliar with what it meant to genuinely like someone, to like someone to the point where nothing would stand in your way of being with them, which would obviously have been translated into him not caring about us getting in the way of his uni-work if there had been a me in the first place.
  
What guys don't understand is the fact that women are very similar to them. We like visually appealing things too, we lie just to avoid hurting someone's feelings too, and we don't always appreciate being called up at random hours just to be asked where we are. You dig? 

Some women actually like visually appealing men
We're not all emotions and sweet talk. Sometimes all we want is a good ol' view of a Morris Chestnut look-alike or [insert name here] for that matter.  The same goes for if some women who want something. If they really want something, they'll turn into a go-getter, and almost nothing can stand in their way (not even marriage,sadly)! That means that if a woman/man tells you that the reason she/he isn't "ready" to date you is because they "just got out of a four year long relationship" -- regardless of how badly it ended -- just know that chances are, they're bullshitting you! I know plenty of people who never let a four year long relationship hinder them from jumping right into the next one after it ended. Not that that's an entirely good idea, but you get my point. And, if a person is as awesome a student at university as they claim, then juggling a relationship at the same time should be no biggie! 

What was so awesome about the next chick that it took him only a month to get with her, anyway? Kryptonite?  Despite the fact that he had millions of other things he needed to get to right away? What, I'm supposed to have believed that he'd suddenly changed his mind and that she had come along right about the same time as his "epiphany"?  This girl will not be fooled twice.



I'm so thankful I learned the hard way. How else would I be able to tell the difference between realness and "fakery"? If someone isn't willing to, at some point, move mountains for you, then they're not worth your time -- sorry to say.  As the saying goes, "Don't make someone your priority, when you're not even an option to them." 

So, the next time someone tries bullshitting you, you're conversation should go a little something like this...

 *Start sniffing the air in disgust* 
You: Oh my gosh. Do you smell that? Something in here really stinks!

Person: Really? No, what is it? 

You: Your Bullshit!  *Proudly walks off* 

Okay, maybe not. But say it like it is the next time you're confronted with bull crap. Why lie just so someone can feel good? What if they find out? Isn't that just humiliating? It would make them feel a lot worse about themselves, and would you feel good knowing you're the cause? 

And guys....Don't think you're doing a girl a favour by lying to her about how you really feel. In the long run you're just creating deeper scars that will take more effort to clean and heal.  Say it like it is. No more bullshit!